I Really Hate ESPN

I've been spoiled. We all have.

I don't know about you but I cannot stand watching the NBA playoffs on ESPN anymore. The brilliance of TNT has ruined it for me.

Everything about TNT's playoff coverage is fantastic. Well, not Craig Sager. I can do without him and his petrified poop. But other than that, magnifique.

I didn't realize how much I loved TNT until I had to watch the Bulls play on ESPN Thursday night with Mike Tirico and Hubie Brown.

Granted, I don't have any problem with Tirico at all, but I would like to shove a screwdriver deep into Hubie's lazy eye.

Hubie after Tyrus Thomas makes a clean block on Lindsay Hunter's layup from behind:

"See, that's a good call. He got him on the body, it's a good call, Mike."

Keep in mind, they still haven't even shown the layup yet on the replay when Hubie declares it a good call. Hunter is still dribbling towards the basket.

They show the replay three times from three different angles, and you know what you never see? Any contact made between Tyrus and Lindsay. Just a kid who can jump 40 feet straight up into the air blocking a midget's layup.

Hubie later into the game after Tayshaun Prince hits a big jumpshot from the corner:

"The thing about Prince is he never gets too excited, and he never gets too down, Mike."

Meanwhile as he's saying this, on the TV Prince is jumping up and down, screaming, and chest bumping his teammates.

But, he's not excited.

It's as if Hubie is just reading off of a cue card and never actually watching the game. Every player is amazing, and any mistakes they make are just once in a lifetime occurrences.

Still, I'm just picking on Hubie. I should also note that despite my extreme distaste for Hubie, I find Mike Breen to be one of the best play by play guy's in the business.

Where ESPN severely lacks is in the studio. The pregame and halftime shows on ESPN are like watching paint dry, only nowhere near as exciting. At least watching paint dry you face the prospect of discovering you have to add another coat. With the ESPN halftime, you know it's going to suck. Absolutely no surprises. It's Fred "I Bring Absolutely Nothing To The Table" Hickman, Greg Anthony, Tim Legler, and STEPHEN "EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT" SMITH. To be fair, Anthony and Legler aren't bad, but they're no Barkley and Smith.

It's all because Inside the NBA on TNT is brilliant. Everyday, every game, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, and Charles Barkley keep me interested. And they keep me laughing.

Just to give you an idea of how much I love them, I've generally been watching the entire NBA postseason on my DVR. Even though I've recorded the entire Nets/Cavs series, I've only watched about 5 minutes from each game. But you know what? I've watched all five halftimes.

Seriously, I love the studio show on TNT so much that even when I'm watching these games after work at 2AM, and I have to be up early to bring you the beauty that is Foul Balls, I don't fast forward through halftime.

I have to watch it.

I sacrifice sleep for Charles Barkley.

Now I'm scared because I'm just realizing that the Western Conference Finals will be shown exclusively on ESPN. It's going to ruin it for me. The Spurs-Jazz matchup is going to be great, yet I don't even want to watch anymore.

I will, but it's not going to be as enjoyable as it should be.

As for the Eastern Conference, much like the Cavs-Nets series, the only reason I'll watch is for the studio show.

Do you think I really want to watch the Pistons and Cavs play? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the Pistons, but the fact that the Cavs can be so boring when they have LeBron James speaks volumes.

The worst part of all of this? Charles Barkley knows that the Eastern Conference Final is boring, so he won't even be excited about it. Which in the end, will lead to him being surly and disinterested in the studio.

So that's not going to be any fun either. Of course, Barkley was pretty enjoyable when he was pissed off cuz he couldn't go to the De La Hoya/Meriweather fight, so maybe it won't be so bad after all.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.