High Five

A quick look around the interweb while being reminded that if you're rich and famous you don't have to be treated like everybody else

1. You can't ejaculate on a 17-year old girl? What the hell is this world coming to!? [With Leather]
2. Do you know who Ernie Banks is? Well, you're one up on Julian Tavarez then. [Red Sox Monster]
3. Don Nelson doesn't seem to believe as much as Jessica Alba does. [Deadspin]
4. Introducing the worst baseball team in history. It's nice to see that there's at least one other person out there who agrees with my assessment that Buddy Bell sucks. [Bugs and Cranks]
5. Bill Simmons proves he can still hit one out of the park from time to time. [The Sports Guy]

And now that I've brought joy to your otherwise dull lives with these wonderful links, I have a bit of bad news for you.

There will be no Foul Balls tomorrow. Sorry. I won't be around, and neither will Panger. Had we known about this longer I probably would have found somebody to fill in for the day. It could have been you! I hope you're happy, dumbass.