Today At The Fanhouse

Everything from cars getting jacked, to the pain in Eric Gagne's ass.

• Sean Casey Needs New Tires-Sean Casey flew home to Pittsburgh for the off day last Thursday, only to return to Detroit City Airport and find his car up on cinder blocks, with the windows smashed and all four tires gone. He can now officially call himself a Detroitan. Detroiter? Detroitite? What the hell do people from Detroit call themselves?
• Brad Halsey Is Not A Happy Employee-"I kept going in and saying, 'My arm is bothering me, it's not right,' and they said, 'Oh, it's just biceps tendinitis, you'll be fine,' '' Halsey said by phone from Sacramento. "Then they send you down and screw you. I'm grinding it out, trying to be a team guy, and I get f -- . It's all just a business decision, because if I came up and pitched Tuesday and then had an MRI and had to go on the DL, they'd have to pay me major-league DL money. It's such a mom-and-pop organization. Basically, they pulled the plug on me because our trainer called them to say I was scheduled for an MRI. I'm a team guy, I'm pitching through problems, and they tell me, 'You're the guy, you're going to start (at Baltimore)' - and then I get skipped specifically for that reason (the possible injury). It's (messed up) the way they treat the people they employ. I mean, I'm a person too, not just a piece of the puzzle.''
• Darren Oliver Is Easier To Hit Than A Defenseless Baby-.529!? Is he throwing underhand? See, this is why if I ever have a son, I'm going to tie his right arm behind his back. I'm going to make sure he grows up to be left handed, and then all I have to do is teach him to throw. No matter how bad you suck, if you can throw a strike occasionally as a lefty, there will always be a job for you in baseball.
• Eric Gagne's Butt Hurts-Rangers officials sprinted to the mound following a Gagne pitch. It's the second straight day that it's happened. On Saturday Gagne experience back spasms while pitching, but stayed in the game. Sunday, he limped off the field and Antinori Otsuka had to finish for him. The team is calling it a strained right hip muscle, but Gagne says it's "my butt cheek."