Bowled Over

Here are the few things I learned from yesterday's "Zowie, it's Maui" Bowl:

If you're a Pro Bowler, call in sick the day of the game. That way, you get all the fun and none of the risk. Drew Brees is wishing he did this.

The Pro Bowl is like a company picnic with helmets and shoulder pads. Everyone knows it's just a paid vacation with "benefits." The game is an afterthought. Unless you're Redskin Sean Taylor, who apparently didn't get the memo.

Skip the game, watch the half time competition. Kinda like the three-legged race at camp but with stud athletes. Robbie Gould was aiming kicks at a tiki hut, Tony Romo rifled passes at basketball backboards, and my favorite, Ocho Cinco, proved he could do wind sprints, catch rapid-fire passes and trash talk simultaneously. It was way more entertaining than the game.

Bill Belichick has teeth. Something only Sharon Shenocca could attest to until yesterday. Yes, Bill actually smiled.

Peyton Manning is going to run for political office one day. I'm certain of it. He reminds me of the politicians who reduce every single life experience to a photo op. I could almost hear him thinking, "Are the cameras on me? Good, time to give 'em Pensive Peyton... now Cordial Peyton... Laughing While Manfully Hugging Teammate Peyton... Sincere and Respectful While Shaking Belichik's Hand Peyton.... did all the cameras get that?"

Shannon Sharpe is an idiot. 'Nuff said.

If you're watching the Pro Bowl live, seriously, dude, get a life. Walk outside - yeah, that's the sun - go to a movie, take a walk. And definitely go to the mall and get your girlfriend or wife a diamond for Valentine's Day. It's forever, you know.