Black Running Backs Can't Jump

WARNING: This isn't really about basketball. (Although the skin on Wayne Newton's face was stretched like one. And about the same color.)

It was NBA All-Star Weekend Celebrity Basketball!!! In Vegas!!!

The excitement was barely discernable as B and C-Listers displayed their mediocre skillz, so that they could get comped for the rest of the weekend.

It was such a dazzling affair, I'm sorry I didn't watch.

Starting for the East were "Scrubs" star Donald Faison, LaDainian Tomlinson, Nelly and WNBA player Katie Smith (nothing like a professional player from the same sport playing Carrot Top to engender respect). The starters for the West were Reggie Bush, That Guy from Desparate Housewives Who Keeps Showing Up on Sports Shows, and some other WNBA chick.

The highlight of the game, maybe even the best play of the game, was Reggie Bush going out with a sprained ankle. Note to New Orleans Saint football players: you should really stop with the extracurricular activities.

In the end, the West Squad dominated over the East in a barn-burner.

Final score: West 40, East 21.

(Though in fairness, the East also scored 3 high-end hookers, 2 new signed agents, 1 Taiwanese Liza Minnelli impersonator, and a handful of green pills from some guy named Lou.)